Clash of the Titans

12 rounds of baseball

Most people ask me, "Chris what's the big deal with baseball? I mean it's not that exciting, and you and your friends sound like a bunch of nerds when all you do is talk about stat after stat. Who care about who won the N.L. MVP in 1973. It's just a game." Well my friends, let me let you in on what it's like to be a baseball fan. First off, if you think baseball is just a game please stop reading now. Not this blog, but reading in general, with your lack of brainpower, imagination, and focus, books with pictures in them would be more your speed.

But to the droves and droves of educated people out there, who know that baseball is the sport of kings, the following explanation is for you. Being a baseball fan, is like being a boxer. Both have to constantly keep their guard up against outside attacks from others looking to put their skills to the test. A boxer spends countless hours training in the ring, going over combination after combination. Perfecting his jab, uppercut, and when all else fails, his hay maker. And it's no different for a baseball fan, our gym is the baseball stadium, our ring is the box score, our 12 ounce glove is the four letter word...STAT.

Just like the boxer, the baseball fan works on combos that will leave his opponent dazed and speechless. And just like the boxer, the baseball fan has weaknesses, holes in his game if you will, that needs to be guarded at all times, or he risks losing the argument as well as his dignity.

Some fans, no matter how strong their game is, can't defend against their glaring weakness. It's like being a boxer with a glass jaw. The best you can hope for is to take down the opponent as quick as possible, before they can land a punch to the jaw, or adopted the code of the wild, only take on opponents who's ability is far inferior than their own, I call it the Wounded Gazelle approach.

Sad to say, that no matter how strong my game is, and believe me it's strong, I'll always end up on the losing end of a decision because of my glass jaw...The Chicago Cubs. Until the Cubs win a championship, all opponents have to do is land one hay maker to the park of my jaw that has, "100+ year title drought" tattooed on it and I fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

I guess until that happens, I'll have to continue to prey upon gazelles so look out Washington National and Seattle Mariner Fans.

Merry Christmas,

Chris "Bleedin Blue" Della Valle

P.S. Pete Rose won the MVP in the N.L. in 1973