one page bio

Hello, hello. I hope everyone's Christmas was as awesome as mine. I wanted to share something with you that I'm proud of. Early today I applied for a job and they requested a one page bio in addition to my resume. The following is what I wrote them...Please to enjoy.

Enclosed you will find my resume, but also would like to tell you a little about myself. People would call me a jack-of-all-trades and a master of some =) They mostly call me that because I pay them to, but it also has to do with the experiences I've had. Early on in my college career I found that with a Communications degree I could do so many things, so I decided not to stick to one area, but to sample from the buffet of media.

The Adventures of Chris Della Valle, that's me by the way, started in early 2000's when he attended the Community College of Southern Nevada as a doe eyed freshman with the world on a string, and not a care in the world. Deciding not the follow in the family trade, both parents have teaching degrees, Young Della Valle set out to make it rich in the world of broadcasting. Little did he know about the perils of the broadcasting world, but that is a story for another time. While attending CCSN Chris worked at the Coyote Press where he mostly wrote movie reviews, but occasionally got the call to do a feature or two. His love for Journalism carried over when he graduated from the minors, and transferred to UNLV. There the young wordsmith got the opportunity to write about what he loved, that of course being sports. Anything and everything sports related fell in the lap of Chris. From swimming and softball, to Baseball and Basketball, Della Valle reported on them all.

Graduating from UNLV in the summer of '06, the newly crowned Communications Ace, decided to devote his time to another area of media, and turn his back on the printed word. He started work full time at CBS radio, there Chris soaked up everything people were willing to teach him. He learned so much and had a few adventures while working there as well, but once again that is a story for another time. The marriage of Chris and Radio was a happy one, and he thought that was where the story ended.

It didn't. Like most marriages, Chris' ended in divorce just over a month ago. Reeling, the once Communications Ace, was in disarray, not knowing what to do. but then a friend from the past decided to pay him a visit, that friend being the printed word. Dusting off his keyboard and thesaurus, Chris decided to take another crack at print media.

No one knows what the future holds for Chris Della Valle, but one thing’s for sure, it will be interesting.

The End

Hopefully you got as much a kick reading this as I did writing it. If you have any question my resume has my contact info. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

-Chris Della Valle

Clash of the Titans

12 rounds of baseball

Most people ask me, "Chris what's the big deal with baseball? I mean it's not that exciting, and you and your friends sound like a bunch of nerds when all you do is talk about stat after stat. Who care about who won the N.L. MVP in 1973. It's just a game." Well my friends, let me let you in on what it's like to be a baseball fan. First off, if you think baseball is just a game please stop reading now. Not this blog, but reading in general, with your lack of brainpower, imagination, and focus, books with pictures in them would be more your speed.

But to the droves and droves of educated people out there, who know that baseball is the sport of kings, the following explanation is for you. Being a baseball fan, is like being a boxer. Both have to constantly keep their guard up against outside attacks from others looking to put their skills to the test. A boxer spends countless hours training in the ring, going over combination after combination. Perfecting his jab, uppercut, and when all else fails, his hay maker. And it's no different for a baseball fan, our gym is the baseball stadium, our ring is the box score, our 12 ounce glove is the four letter word...STAT.

Just like the boxer, the baseball fan works on combos that will leave his opponent dazed and speechless. And just like the boxer, the baseball fan has weaknesses, holes in his game if you will, that needs to be guarded at all times, or he risks losing the argument as well as his dignity.

Some fans, no matter how strong their game is, can't defend against their glaring weakness. It's like being a boxer with a glass jaw. The best you can hope for is to take down the opponent as quick as possible, before they can land a punch to the jaw, or adopted the code of the wild, only take on opponents who's ability is far inferior than their own, I call it the Wounded Gazelle approach.

Sad to say, that no matter how strong my game is, and believe me it's strong, I'll always end up on the losing end of a decision because of my glass jaw...The Chicago Cubs. Until the Cubs win a championship, all opponents have to do is land one hay maker to the park of my jaw that has, "100+ year title drought" tattooed on it and I fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

I guess until that happens, I'll have to continue to prey upon gazelles so look out Washington National and Seattle Mariner Fans.

Merry Christmas,

Chris "Bleedin Blue" Della Valle

P.S. Pete Rose won the MVP in the N.L. in 1973

Let it snow let it snow...

Holy Frozen Ice sickles Bat-man! It's snowing in Vegas. For that last couple of days I've been receiving Intel that Jack Frost has broken through the northern Nevada defenses and planned a massive attack on the Las Vegas valley code-named "powdered doughnut" for sometime Monday morning. I've heard this crazy talk before, so I didn't put too much stock into what I heard. But to my surprise I woke up this morning with a higher level of apprehension than I usually do. After wiping the sleep from my eyes I picked up my phone to check my messages. "You have 12 new messages," a flirtatious robotic voice informed me, the first one was from my brother,Frank. "Chris whatever you do, Do NOT go outside! I woke up this morning and took a look outside and all I saw was a blanket of pure white. I don't know what to do man! Call me back."

Dropping my phone to the ground I climbed on my bed to take a look outside, the other messages could wait, I had more important things to look into. How could I allow this to happen? Why wasn't I more diligent in keeping Vegas safe?? Has it been so long since my first run in with a low pressure system? Have I really forgotten the El Nino incident of 1997*?? As I peered through my blinds, I realized my worst dreams coming true.

Snow...Everywhere.

I could feel the cold boney fingers of winter crawling through the window pane and poking me in the face and I knew that it was only going to get worse. At least 1" of frozen foot solders on the ground, and I watch thousands upon thousands parachuting in to join their cold compadres. It was hard to tear myself away from the window, but I knew I couldn't sit here and watch my beloved city be overrun by and army of arctic assassins, I had to do something.

After taking a long hot shower, I figured I should at least be warm and comfortable one more time before going into battle, I called Frank, *Ring* *Ring* "Come on Frankie, answer the damn phone." As soon as the words left my mouth I heard the phone click over to voicemail, "You've reached Frank the Tank, leave a message." Ok Not Good, I need to get out there and look for him, was the only thing racing through my mind as I heard that oh so familiar beep, and hung up the phone.

If I was to get out there and find my brother, I was going to need to arm myself, but would the weapons in my

armory still work?? I haven't used them in over 10 years, I guess a part of me, a big part, never wanted to have to use them again.

Walking out the the armory a.k.a the garage I took a quick mental inventory of what I was going to need. As I opened the door to the armory, I could feel the sub-zero breath of my adversary engulf me. This is going to be harder than I thought, J.F.'s powers are getting stronger and stronger, and I'm way out of practice.

Taking a deep breath I stepped into the armory determined not to stop until I found my brother, or froze trying. My courage slowly starting coming back when I saw that my snow blower still had a half a tank of gas. This is the most valuable piece of my equipment in my fight against Jack Frost and his frosty forces. My shovel still looked like it could dish out some punishment. And I knew luck was on my side when I found my bandoleer with a dozen salt grenades in them.

Now that I'm fully equip, I want to leave a message to the outside word, warning all that reads this how to protect themselves and their loved ones from J.F.

-Layers- Layers are important to protect you from the bitter cold as well as the water dispelled from the bodies of the fallen. If you do it right, the fallen will be many.

-A red Santa Hat- Wearing one will confuse J.F.'s air forces. They will mistake you for Santa Himself.

-A full bladder- Recent studies show that by turning the snow yellow, the forces become paralyzed and show signs of cowardice.

If I don't make it, tell Jessica Alba I love her.

"Snow" no mercy,

Chris "bowl full of jelly" D.

*El Nino incident of 1997- To show his power, El Nino decided to make an example of Las Vegas' Champion. With his mystical powers of high and low pressure systems, and sudden warm and cold front, he was able to get past the immune system and harm Las Vegas' champion, Chris D. Not able to crush the spirit of C.D., El Nino signed a treaty with Mayor Goodman saying that he and his forces stay away from Las Vegas, for no less than 15 calender years.

Love attacks Saturday

L.O.V.E it's just not my favorite Nat King Cole song, but it's something much more. If we loved unconditional, without letting our bias, prejudice, fear, get in the way this world would be in much better shape.

Before I get into the meat of what I want to talk about let me add this precursor...I am not a biblical scholar, what I know about the good book, I've learned from my pastor, Dad, the little amount I actually read, and the bible category on Jeopardy. So some of the following stuff, might be a little messed up, but the message is still there. Do you remember playing the telephone game when you were younger?? Where you and your friends would sit in a line and one person would whisper a phrase into the ear of the person next to him/her and so on until the message reached the last person in line, and you ended up with something that didn't have anything to do with the original phrase. Like "He has risen" turned into "the bread has raisins" Ya I'm not that bad, but don't put it past me to throw in a few raisins =)

Now that I posted my disclaimer, back to the topic at hand. Somewhere in the bible a dude asked Jesus, what was the most important commandment? And JC basically said, Love God and Love your neighbor like you love yourself.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!? It's just that simple, but others (myself included) complicate the heck out of it. Everything else would fall into place if we followed these two commandments wholeheartedly. You wouldn't want to murder yourself, you would totally honor your Mother and Father, cause you totally honor yourself. Theft, coveting, and all those other ones I can't remember would be a piece of cake to follow all because you'd treat others the way you wanted to be treated.

It's funny all I can picture while I'm writing this is the earth populated with 6 billion Chris Della Valle's. Yes, I know a scary thought to some, but I can't help but smile.

So my challenge to you, if you're up to it, starting right now, treat others as you would your clone. If you don't know what I'm talking about, rent Multiplicity starring Micheal Keaton, or read Amazing Spider-man issues 534-553.

When you're in the checkout line at the grocery store, picture yourself as cashier, how would you brighten up your own day.

The next time somebody cuts you off, and you know it's coming, picture yourself driving the car that cut you off. You know if you ever cut someone off, yes there's a first time for everything, you would have a good reason.

I'm going to start taking my own advice and I'll keep you posted on how living on planet Chris is working out.

Check your zipper,

Chris Della Valle

P.S. I don't actually know the exact issues of Spider-man's clone saga, I not that big a nerd =)