You asked for it you got it

Every since the 3rd annual Summer Solstice Streetball Spectacular completed last Sunday Candorteers from all around the globe have been asking for yours truly to post what happened. I've tried all week to fully capture what happened that sunny day, but every time I start to think back, my hand starts to shake, my mouth gets dry, and I get light-headed.



Since I couldn't write it myself I asked my friend, Sunny Stevens, reporter for the Las Vegas Sun, if I could copy and paste his story. Being the good friend that he is, Sunny was more than willing to allow his story to take up residence at Candor Corner.

If you like what Sunny wrote let him know, you can email him at Myimaginaryfriend@fakie.com



Location, Location, Location. These words hold as true in the world of realty as they do in the Streetball world. Location played a big part in the 25-to-9 massacre that took place at Old Castle Field, last Sunday.

Veteran starting pitcher Chris "Can't Miss" Della Valle seemed to have trouble locating his pitches. When asked if anything was wrong Della Valle replied, "Ya I had a tough day out there, I had trouble throwing my change-up for strikes, but you really have to tip your hat to Matty's team, they played better than us today."

Della Valle went the distance giving up all 25 runs, only 7 earned, while striking out 13 batters. A depleted Home Team bullpen forced Ryan Flynn, manager/third base, to keep Chris in there for the duration, "I felt bad having to leave Chris in there so long, but I thought he was our best option and our defense let him down on more than a fair share of plays."

The Home team committed 18 errors on the day, a StreetBall record. "All I'm saying is that it looked like we were playing with frying pans taped to our hands," explained Flynn.

This was Della Valle's worst outing in his 20 year career, begging the question is it time for "Can't Miss" to change his name to "Can't do this?"

"Sure I know what people are saying, that I've lost some velocity on my fastball, or that my life away from Streetball is getting in the way, well I only have one thing to say to my critics, [expletive deleted]."

This reporter wonders if Della Valle showed the same amount of intensity in the interview room as he did on the mound, the outcome might have been different.

The main low point in the day for Della Valle was in the 5th inning when he gave up a grand slam to arguably the worst player in StreetBall history Jose Duran. Duran, a career .083 hitter against Della Valle, connected with a hanging change-up and hit it an astounding 408 feet, putting the game well out of reach.

"Streetball been very very good to me. Mr. Chris is a great player and a great human I am very very happy that I was able to hit grand slam off him. Today I am happiest man on the face of the Earth," explained the struggling Duran.

To put in perspective how improbable the Duran grand slam was, sports historians are ranking the feat between the 1980 U.S. hockey team defeating Russia and Michael Phelps performance in the 2008 Olympics.

"Hey every dog has his day in the sun, let [Duran] enjoy it. I'll take the winter off and re-evaluate things. I don't want this one start to tarnish my legacy," Della Valle explained.

There's always next year champ, always next year.

There is no joy in Mudville

I boast of many things that are more true than not,
Flip cup champ, Jack-of-all-trades, a real big shot,
But the thing I'm most proud of that gives me a kick,
is that fact that I hardly, if ever, get the flu or get sick,

The last time my immune system failed me,
was my 7th grade year back in 1993,
Pink eye, a cold, both at the same time,
and when I sneezed out flew a mist of green slime,

Most wondered how I could have gotten bit so hard,
By the flu bug when my white blood cells stood guard,
the culprit was something that came out of Reno,
It was the atmosphere phenomenon known as El Nino,

The reason I bring up this story I would like to forget,
is the flu bug's bite is once again a big threat,
Unstable temps this week are taking their toll,
In my future I see chicken soup in a big bowl,

But do not fret my loyal cadorteers,
cause I'll kick this "thing," and we can once again cheer.