I don't want to alarm you but it's the end of the world as we know it. Since reading the "Left Behind" series as well as "The Stand" I consider myself an expert in all things Apocalypse and I'm hear to tell you that the swine flu epidemic has all the makings of the "Big One." Not because of it's highly contagious or the lack of an effective way to fight it (besides washing your hands), but because of what it will do to the bacon lovers of the world. Soon fast food chains with strip bacon from their menu's. Pork chops will be a thing of the past. Shady individuals in trench coats waiting in dark alley's will be the only place a person can get their swine on. Droves of greasy handed, pork lovers will soon take to the streets moaning, "baaaaaaacon, baaaaaaaacon." People nationwide will loot Piggly Wiggly in search of, "Pink Gold." The national guard will be called in to re-establish order, but will be severely out numbered, not to mention out weighed. Wall Street will be overran with the walking over-fed because they heard brokers were trading Pork Belly Futures. Sadly, Miss Piggy will be viciously attacked at a Wal-Mart opening in Branson MO.
Hopefully I'm wrong, but I've spoke with numerous experts of the subject and we have concluded that it is only a matter of time before the pink menace gets the Earth in it's dirty hoove.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
News and Notes
Hey there Ho there my fellow Candorteers!
Wanted to let you in on a few upcoming events I'm going to be participating in. Hopefully you'll be able to join me.
Thursday April 23rd 7:00pm til ???- This event has held a special place in my heart for years now and I don't think it will be going anywhere for years to come. This Thursday is the first Thirsty Thursday/Dollar Beer Night at Cashman Field. Years ago the Nevada brain trust came together and decided to marry the greatness of minor league baseball with the deliciousness (yes it's a word and if it's not it is now) of dollar beer to create the closest thing to Heaven on Earth.
If you haven't made it out to Cashman Field for a dollar Beer Night, I highly recommend it. It's the closest thing to a high school/college reunion that an ACTUAL reunion. Every time I go to one of these I end up bumping into another forgotten soul from my past, which makes D.B.N. a must. Oh and have I mentioned THE DOLLAR BEER!!!
If you can't make it out to Cashman, I hope you can make it out to the next event I'll be attending.
Friday April 24th- Karaoke Entertainer of the Year Contest.
That's right folks I have finally gone over board with my love for the Japanese art of Kara-oke and will enter a contest to see if I have the "Chops." For six weeks starting on March 25th different bars around the Las Vegas Valley will host contests to qualify entertainers to go on to the semi-finals. I've already missed the first three weeks due to my extensive karaoke training regiment that took place in the Swiss Alps. There I honed my golden pipes to near perfection and am now ready to take on the world. Well maybe not the world but a whole bunch of American Idol rejects =)
So roll on down to Kerry's Sports Pub, 3520 North Rancho Dr, on Friday April 24th around 8ish to cheer me on to Karaoke fame and a cash prize of $2,000 clams. Week 4 is the Standards category, songs that are 35+ years old and have been sung repeatedly. I've listed my three choices, take a look and tell me which one I should sing.
You're so money you don't even know it,
Funkmaster C.
Choices
1. "L-O-V-E" by Nate King Cole
2. "Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra
3. "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra
Wanted to let you in on a few upcoming events I'm going to be participating in. Hopefully you'll be able to join me.
Thursday April 23rd 7:00pm til ???- This event has held a special place in my heart for years now and I don't think it will be going anywhere for years to come. This Thursday is the first Thirsty Thursday/Dollar Beer Night at Cashman Field. Years ago the Nevada brain trust came together and decided to marry the greatness of minor league baseball with the deliciousness (yes it's a word and if it's not it is now) of dollar beer to create the closest thing to Heaven on Earth.
If you haven't made it out to Cashman Field for a dollar Beer Night, I highly recommend it. It's the closest thing to a high school/college reunion that an ACTUAL reunion. Every time I go to one of these I end up bumping into another forgotten soul from my past, which makes D.B.N. a must. Oh and have I mentioned THE DOLLAR BEER!!!
If you can't make it out to Cashman, I hope you can make it out to the next event I'll be attending.
Friday April 24th- Karaoke Entertainer of the Year Contest.
That's right folks I have finally gone over board with my love for the Japanese art of Kara-oke and will enter a contest to see if I have the "Chops." For six weeks starting on March 25th different bars around the Las Vegas Valley will host contests to qualify entertainers to go on to the semi-finals. I've already missed the first three weeks due to my extensive karaoke training regiment that took place in the Swiss Alps. There I honed my golden pipes to near perfection and am now ready to take on the world. Well maybe not the world but a whole bunch of American Idol rejects =)
So roll on down to Kerry's Sports Pub, 3520 North Rancho Dr, on Friday April 24th around 8ish to cheer me on to Karaoke fame and a cash prize of $2,000 clams. Week 4 is the Standards category, songs that are 35+ years old and have been sung repeatedly. I've listed my three choices, take a look and tell me which one I should sing.
You're so money you don't even know it,
Funkmaster C.
Choices
1. "L-O-V-E" by Nate King Cole
2. "Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra
3. "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra
Friday, April 17, 2009
Myspace survey
I've gotten email after email asking for more info about Chris from Candor Corner fame. Well your requests have been answered the following is a survey I posted on myspace jam packed with info. Please to enjoy.
How old will you turn in 2010?
29 -Wow that's insane
Who did you last text?
Jose.
Why did you text this person?
He was complaining about buying reunion tickets, so I had to text slap him.
What were your first thoughts this morning?
Damn shouldn't have slept in, I have a lot to do today
Are you a jealous person?
I believe that I am, but I'm getting better
Is there any meaning behind your profile song?
I have a few profile songs and each one has meaning
Do you believe what goes around comes around?
Oh ya I'm a big believer in Karma the show, "my name is Earl" changed my life.
Is your birthday on a holiday?
It will be, think about it, there aren't any good holidays in August. So I believe that August 8th should be forever known as Awesome Day, where we celebrate all things awesome =)
Would you ever get a tattoo?
I already have a tattoo and I'm itching for another one.
Who was the last person you watched a movie with?
Jose saw Wolverine Origins...Bootleg suckas!!!! *Editors Note* If anyone reading this works for the FBI, the author was joking and in fact never saw the movie in question in bootleg form.
Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions?
Most of the time I do, I figure that's how we learn about one another.
Are you gonna be home alone tonight?
Whoa Creepy Myspace survey! That's none of your business.
Are you doing anything tomorrow?
Got work, then going over to Bob and Tiff's for a 50's costume party.
Who was the last person who hurt you emotionally?
This Barista at Starbucks, she asked me if I wanted whip cream on my drink I said no and she said good call you don't need it =(
What was the highlight of your day yesterday?
Working with my client.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
sure have tried acting on it too, but had to break up with her cause she ate dinner too early.
Do you like Red Bull?
I'm a caffeine fiend! Sugar free Red Bull is great and I also like Xyience energy drinks, but nothing compares to ZizzZazz. So go out and but some ZizzZazz today.
When was the last time you had pizza?
Yesterday
When is the last time you cried?
Few weeks ago.
Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
I have good hearing so I don't listen to music very loud.
Are you a forgiving person?
I try to be but some stuff is hard to forgive. Like taking the last oatmeal packet. I'M TALKING TO YOU FRANK!!! =)
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Ryan Fluffmaster Flynn
Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
ya a few someones we just grew apart.
Have you ever kissed someone whose name began with R?
I don't think I have
If you could move right now would you?
If I had the cash I would buy a house, people are getting crazy good deals right now.
Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
100% and I don't think I'm going to bleach my hair like I have in years past.
Do you have trust issues?
I think we all do, we were taught as children not to trust strangers and that advice carries over to our adult lives.
How was your day?
I was ok could have been better, but I had to sleep in like a sucker =/
Is anyone on your bad side?
Not really but a couple of people are on the fence and they know who they are.
Do you think boys truly understand girls?
nope and men don't understand women
What were you doing at 1 AM this morning?
Watching the hit TBS series My Boys. Don't judge me I need a girly show in my life.
Closest blue object to you?
rhymes with walls LOL j/k cd case
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yup my only ticket ever was a speeding ticket
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Ya I'm blessed I have two people that can always make me smile. Three if you count when I talk to myself in the mirror.
Do you have your tonsils?
Yes these freeloaders are still with me. Good for nothing tonsils!
Do you get scared easily?
Big time um I mean no.
Happy for today?
7/10 on the happy scale
Do you wish you were somewhere else?
sure do
What was the last pill that you took?
One-a-day men's health
Could you happily survive in a world without music?
eww gross what would I do at 51's games in between innings if I couldn't sing along to the music??
Where will you be in an hour?
in bed asleep I hope
Do you cook?
enough to survive but I wouldn't want to test that theory.
Do you laugh enough?
I laugh enough, but I'd like to laugh more.
Have you ever hugged a complete stranger?
hmm I don't recall, but I guarantee I have
Does seeing couples in love make you mad?
no way love is in the air it's spring.
How much music do you actually listen to?
A lot
When was the last time you were complimented?
this afternoon
Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
Ya I want to go this weekend to see, "I love you man" so if anyone's interested hit me up on the cell
Are you easily scared by horror/thriller films?
yes that's why I don't watch them.
If you were given $100 would you save it, or spend it?
it's $100, I'd spend it
Where are you right now?
home watching Letterman filling out this incredibly long survey.
Could you date someone taller then you?
I hope so, the real question is could she date someone shorter than her??
Do you have the same name as any of your relatives?
I do not
Are you afraid to grow up?
Yup that's why I topped out at 3'10'' =)
Are you mean?
Most of the time I'm not, but I do have a mean streak.
How was your New Years?
It was great. Went to Christine and Brian's for a toga/crazy wig party.
Getting your hair cut anytime soon?
next week
Want something you can't have?
I often covet lol
Do you believe in young love?
NO WAY THAT WILL GET YOU 20 YEARS!!!!! No young love for me thanks.
Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
nope I need to learn, who wants to teach me?!?!
What is the weather like today?
it was fair...like our prices LOL awww I miss research =/
Own bright colored underwear?
yes, lots
Have you ever seen someone fall down stairs?
no but I fell down my fair share of stairs.
How old will you turn in 2010?
29 -Wow that's insane
Who did you last text?
Jose.
Why did you text this person?
He was complaining about buying reunion tickets, so I had to text slap him.
What were your first thoughts this morning?
Damn shouldn't have slept in, I have a lot to do today
Are you a jealous person?
I believe that I am, but I'm getting better
Is there any meaning behind your profile song?
I have a few profile songs and each one has meaning
Do you believe what goes around comes around?
Oh ya I'm a big believer in Karma the show, "my name is Earl" changed my life.
Is your birthday on a holiday?
It will be, think about it, there aren't any good holidays in August. So I believe that August 8th should be forever known as Awesome Day, where we celebrate all things awesome =)
Would you ever get a tattoo?
I already have a tattoo and I'm itching for another one.
Who was the last person you watched a movie with?
Jose saw Wolverine Origins...Bootleg suckas!!!! *Editors Note* If anyone reading this works for the FBI, the author was joking and in fact never saw the movie in question in bootleg form.
Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions?
Most of the time I do, I figure that's how we learn about one another.
Are you gonna be home alone tonight?
Whoa Creepy Myspace survey! That's none of your business.
Are you doing anything tomorrow?
Got work, then going over to Bob and Tiff's for a 50's costume party.
Who was the last person who hurt you emotionally?
This Barista at Starbucks, she asked me if I wanted whip cream on my drink I said no and she said good call you don't need it =(
What was the highlight of your day yesterday?
Working with my client.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
sure have tried acting on it too, but had to break up with her cause she ate dinner too early.
Do you like Red Bull?
I'm a caffeine fiend! Sugar free Red Bull is great and I also like Xyience energy drinks, but nothing compares to ZizzZazz. So go out and but some ZizzZazz today.
When was the last time you had pizza?
Yesterday
When is the last time you cried?
Few weeks ago.
Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
I have good hearing so I don't listen to music very loud.
Are you a forgiving person?
I try to be but some stuff is hard to forgive. Like taking the last oatmeal packet. I'M TALKING TO YOU FRANK!!! =)
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Ryan Fluffmaster Flynn
Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
ya a few someones we just grew apart.
Have you ever kissed someone whose name began with R?
I don't think I have
If you could move right now would you?
If I had the cash I would buy a house, people are getting crazy good deals right now.
Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
100% and I don't think I'm going to bleach my hair like I have in years past.
Do you have trust issues?
I think we all do, we were taught as children not to trust strangers and that advice carries over to our adult lives.
How was your day?
I was ok could have been better, but I had to sleep in like a sucker =/
Is anyone on your bad side?
Not really but a couple of people are on the fence and they know who they are.
Do you think boys truly understand girls?
nope and men don't understand women
What were you doing at 1 AM this morning?
Watching the hit TBS series My Boys. Don't judge me I need a girly show in my life.
Closest blue object to you?
rhymes with walls LOL j/k cd case
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yup my only ticket ever was a speeding ticket
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Ya I'm blessed I have two people that can always make me smile. Three if you count when I talk to myself in the mirror.
Do you have your tonsils?
Yes these freeloaders are still with me. Good for nothing tonsils!
Do you get scared easily?
Big time um I mean no.
Happy for today?
7/10 on the happy scale
Do you wish you were somewhere else?
sure do
What was the last pill that you took?
One-a-day men's health
Could you happily survive in a world without music?
eww gross what would I do at 51's games in between innings if I couldn't sing along to the music??
Where will you be in an hour?
in bed asleep I hope
Do you cook?
enough to survive but I wouldn't want to test that theory.
Do you laugh enough?
I laugh enough, but I'd like to laugh more.
Have you ever hugged a complete stranger?
hmm I don't recall, but I guarantee I have
Does seeing couples in love make you mad?
no way love is in the air it's spring.
How much music do you actually listen to?
A lot
When was the last time you were complimented?
this afternoon
Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
Ya I want to go this weekend to see, "I love you man" so if anyone's interested hit me up on the cell
Are you easily scared by horror/thriller films?
yes that's why I don't watch them.
If you were given $100 would you save it, or spend it?
it's $100, I'd spend it
Where are you right now?
home watching Letterman filling out this incredibly long survey.
Could you date someone taller then you?
I hope so, the real question is could she date someone shorter than her??
Do you have the same name as any of your relatives?
I do not
Are you afraid to grow up?
Yup that's why I topped out at 3'10'' =)
Are you mean?
Most of the time I'm not, but I do have a mean streak.
How was your New Years?
It was great. Went to Christine and Brian's for a toga/crazy wig party.
Getting your hair cut anytime soon?
next week
Want something you can't have?
I often covet lol
Do you believe in young love?
NO WAY THAT WILL GET YOU 20 YEARS!!!!! No young love for me thanks.
Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
nope I need to learn, who wants to teach me?!?!
What is the weather like today?
it was fair...like our prices LOL awww I miss research =/
Own bright colored underwear?
yes, lots
Have you ever seen someone fall down stairs?
no but I fell down my fair share of stairs.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The most wonderful time of the year
There are many words that make me smile when I hear them; Hey handsome, free beer, pizza's here, are among them, but the two words that get me smiling more than any other are, Opening day. That's right kiddies another season of Major League Baseball is upon us. Along with the new season, new hopes and new dreams begin as well. On the opening day of baseball everybody's team is in first place. There are thirty team with a chance to win the World Series. On opening day the fan's mind wakes from a five month hibernation and believes anything is possible.
But as baseball fans we soon remember that opening day is the start of a marathon and only the best of the best will make it to the finish line we call October. As baseball fans know, part of what makes baseball great is trying to predict what teams will win their respected divisions. That is what I will now do, the following is my predictions on who will win what this baseball season...Please to enjoy.
Everyone and their baseball loving Mother is talking about how much the Oakland Athletics improved in the off season and how there will be a new AL West champ this year. Well I'm here to tell you that they are sadly mistaken. The AL West will once again go the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Even though the Angels lost out on the Teixeira sweepstakes they still have enough firepower with Guerrero, Hunter, and Abreu to win the west.
The AL Central Crown will be up for grabs all the way to the end. With a little luck all five teams could win this competitive division and it will make this division fun to watch all season long. If I had to choose, and I do =) I'd take the Cleveland Indians to squeak by the Minnesota Twins. The big question marks for the Indians will be whether V. Mart and T. Haftner be the players of a few years ago or are they on their way to washedupville??
As much as this hurts me to say, I'm going to take the Yankees in the East. New York was clearly the big winner this off-season with the signings of Teixeira, Burnett, and Sabathia. Oh and don't forget about getting Chin Ming Wang for a complete season and what he'll bring to the rotation.
The AL Wildcard will come out of the East and it will be in the form of a Sox and not a Ray. The Boston Red Sox will win the Wildcard due to the fact that they have a team littered with all-stars and the strongest pitching staff in the AL.
Mannymaina returns to LA and with it comes the NL west divisional title. As Manny's demeanor goes so does the Dodgers. If Manny stays happy, so do the Dodgers. Some pundits believe that the Dodgers starting rotation is iffy, but I think the Dodgers starting five will do just fine.
Now I could give you reason after reason why I unbiasedly think the Chicago Cubs are a lock for their 3rd consecutive divisional title, but no matter what evidence I show, people will still think I'm being a homer and I'm just picking them because I'm a fan. So I'm not going to waste my time and just say, Cubs Rule All!
The Philadelphia Phillies will take their first step in defending their World Championship by winning the NL East. Even though I do like the Phillies, history tells us that this is the year of the Marlin. The Florida Marlins won their first World Series title in 1997, then their second in 2003, clearly they are on pace to win a WS title every six years. Well it's 2009 so if I was a betting man, I'd bet the farm on the Marlins.
To conclude my 2009 Playoff predictions the New York Mets will win the NL Wild Card. They stack up well against any other NL team, but don't have the pitching to win the East outright.
But as baseball fans we soon remember that opening day is the start of a marathon and only the best of the best will make it to the finish line we call October. As baseball fans know, part of what makes baseball great is trying to predict what teams will win their respected divisions. That is what I will now do, the following is my predictions on who will win what this baseball season...Please to enjoy.
Everyone and their baseball loving Mother is talking about how much the Oakland Athletics improved in the off season and how there will be a new AL West champ this year. Well I'm here to tell you that they are sadly mistaken. The AL West will once again go the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Even though the Angels lost out on the Teixeira sweepstakes they still have enough firepower with Guerrero, Hunter, and Abreu to win the west.
The AL Central Crown will be up for grabs all the way to the end. With a little luck all five teams could win this competitive division and it will make this division fun to watch all season long. If I had to choose, and I do =) I'd take the Cleveland Indians to squeak by the Minnesota Twins. The big question marks for the Indians will be whether V. Mart and T. Haftner be the players of a few years ago or are they on their way to washedupville??
As much as this hurts me to say, I'm going to take the Yankees in the East. New York was clearly the big winner this off-season with the signings of Teixeira, Burnett, and Sabathia. Oh and don't forget about getting Chin Ming Wang for a complete season and what he'll bring to the rotation.
The AL Wildcard will come out of the East and it will be in the form of a Sox and not a Ray. The Boston Red Sox will win the Wildcard due to the fact that they have a team littered with all-stars and the strongest pitching staff in the AL.
Mannymaina returns to LA and with it comes the NL west divisional title. As Manny's demeanor goes so does the Dodgers. If Manny stays happy, so do the Dodgers. Some pundits believe that the Dodgers starting rotation is iffy, but I think the Dodgers starting five will do just fine.
Now I could give you reason after reason why I unbiasedly think the Chicago Cubs are a lock for their 3rd consecutive divisional title, but no matter what evidence I show, people will still think I'm being a homer and I'm just picking them because I'm a fan. So I'm not going to waste my time and just say, Cubs Rule All!
The Philadelphia Phillies will take their first step in defending their World Championship by winning the NL East. Even though I do like the Phillies, history tells us that this is the year of the Marlin. The Florida Marlins won their first World Series title in 1997, then their second in 2003, clearly they are on pace to win a WS title every six years. Well it's 2009 so if I was a betting man, I'd bet the farm on the Marlins.
To conclude my 2009 Playoff predictions the New York Mets will win the NL Wild Card. They stack up well against any other NL team, but don't have the pitching to win the East outright.
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