Stuffed Turkey

Man O' Man Did I over do it this Thanksgiving. Before I talk about how much I ate and how many Miles I'm going to have to walk to burn off the 2nd slice of pumpkin pie, extra helping of stuffing, and 3rd slice of pumpkin pie =) I want to explain why Thanksgiving is my favorite "big time" holiday and what I'm thankful for.

For me, Thanksgiving is the only time a year when my family can get together and just "enjoy" each other's company. With Christmas, even though the reason for the season is great, I often find myself worrying about if i got the right presents for my family, and hopefully I didn't leave anyone off my Christmas list.

With Thanksgiving, all I have to worry about is if i put enough garlic in the garlic mash. This holiday was exceptional great because we kept it small, no pun intended, and we all had a part in preparing the feast.

What I'm thankful for:

-Family. (immediate and extended) For better or worse they shape us into who we are, and I think they made and continue to make me better.

-Health. I know this is a generic thing to be thankful for, but it's true. Too many people around me are going through medical stuff that really makes you stop and think.

-My razor sharp wit. Trust me it's there, you just have to look hard it's razor thin =)

-Not being born in Boston. Cause I would have been a Red Sox Fan. Also if I was a Bostonian I could wave bye-bye to the wit.

Hope your Thanksgiving was as great as mine.

-Chris

P.S. Just in case you were wondering, I DID use the right amount of garlic in the Mash taters.

Three Little Birds

Yes i know it's been awhile since I've lasted posted but some things have happened that kept me busy until now. "What were those things," you ask. Well my department I was, ya that's right was, working for closed down on Thursday November 20th. My staff and I knew it was coming, but as much as you prepare for something, it still comes as a shock when it actually happens. So needless to say I've been a little preoccupied, you know with all the drowning of the sorrows and what not.

Now that the dust has settled and the sorrows sufficiently drowned, i can tell you what I've learned, that heaven forbid if you ever see yourself starring down the barrel of the termination gun, might help you get through it.

One, when they say, "it's just business," that's what they mean. My staff and I did our duties, we didn't underperform in any way, but when the company needs to cut costs, little luxuries are the first to go. My department made it through four rounds of cutbacks, so I was confident that we would have made it to the "big money round" but it was either cut Research, or pay the power bill =) POWER TRUMPS RESEARCH EVERY TIME.

Two, The only way to make sure you're indispensable to the company, is to make it your company...In other words, work for yourself. Little things like tenure and loyalty mean bupkiss, when talking about the bottom line. If you have the drive, and will power, work for yourself, start your own business. Then the only way you lose your job is if the company goes under.

Finally, Leave on a high note. I never understood why people made a scene when getting laid off/fired/getting the axe/being evicted from Jobsville...etc. It doesn't help anybody. Nothing good comes from losing your cool and making a scene. Sure you might feel better in the short term, but you'll soon realize that you acted a fool. Also you let the higher ups off. What I mean by this is, you lead them to believe they made the right choice. "Wow Steve* really blew a gasket, over being let go, I'm glad we got rid of that nutjob," the Fat executive exclaimed as he took a sip from a gold-plated diamond encrusted coffee mug. A decision like that should never be easy on anyone.

Hopefully these tips will be helpful to anyone who happens upon them. In the immortal Words of Bob Marley, "Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright."

*Steve is a fictional character that didn't actually get fired, and is not a nutjob.

Conspiracy of the ages finale

I decided to go a different route on the Conspiracy of the Ages series, and I'll tell you why. I'm over it. It's no longer a big deal, and it comedic value of what/how it happened is fading fast. What I am going to do for the small group of you that wants to know what happened is this, I'll post the Ballad of the Brothers Cane at the end of this blog which will answer all your questions to what happened that faithful night at the Yard House and why I have/had a unsettling fondness for an inanimate object =)

Please to enjoy

Tis the story of the Brothers Cane
All three died, their deaths in vain
They protected a king in a far off land
They steadied his stride in his right hand
But the king’s court did not agree
They shouted, “We must get rid of the Brothers 3!”

The first to go was the eldest Pierre
Who helped the king out of his wheelchair
The court saw this and couldn’t give a heck
So a bald man named Brian Broke Pierre’s neck

The King was crushed, what was he to do?
Without Pierre his adventures were through
The middle Cane brother Lamar told the King
Yo Dawg I’ll help you for some of that bling
The King reluctantly agreed to all this
Which made the King’s court extremely pissed

This time Wang Chung was up to the task
He snatched up Lamar while the King drank from his flask
The King laughed and said Lamar is too strong for you
So Wang Chung broke him in half with some wicked kung fu
Without even thinking the youngest Cane said
“I’ll gladly help you in my brother’s stead”

By now the King was use to all of this crap
And the court couldn’t wait to spring its next trap
The King knew what was coming, spent his time getting buff
He was way more than ready for the fat man named Fluff
But that wasn’t the case for the youngest Cane bro
Because Fluff knocked off his head with one might throw

The King was too tired to continue the fight
He told all his people, “I’ve seen the light”
You did all this stuff cause you care about me
Still the next Cane I get will be as think as a tree.

Conspiracy of the ages part 1

Nnnnooooooo! Was the only thing I could say as I saw my so called friend, Ryan, hurl my cane down the deserted walkway. My heart raced as poor B-ri bounced head first off a brick wall and came to rest in a flower bed. "What the hell is your problem!" I yelled. "You shouldn't have hit me with him, and it's not like you need him anyways." Ryan exclaimed through a wicked grin. All that was racing through my mind as I struggled down the walkway was why hadn't anyone stopped him?? Sure I might have tapped him with my trusty sidekick, but he didn't have to THROW him. Why hadn't any of my other "friends" stopped him?? Were they all in on the murdering my cane?? Did Ryan pull the short straw so he had to do the dirty work?? For years now over half a dozen of these people I called friends would joke/lecture/discuss that I no longer needed my cane. They thought that it was doing more harm than good. How could something designed for aiding people do more HARM THAN GOOD?!?! Plus B-ri was more than a cane to me, it/he was the reacher of high placed objects, the pusher of vending machine buttons, he was an extension of me. B-ri is to Blanket as I am to Linus so to speak, and now he was lying helpless in a foul smelling flowerbed.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Maiden voyage of the S.S. Chris

ALL ABOARD!

It's funny, years ago I thought I wasn't the kind of person to keep a journal/diary/blog and on top of that I'd never have one that I would share with the world. But times they are a changin. In the last 6 months or so I've had a burning desire to put pen to pad and write, or in this case finger to keys and type. I don't know if it was one single moment where I decided I needed to write more or if it was many little moments where I found myself saying, "hmm wish I wrote that one down, so-and-so would have like that one."I've tried to hold off as long as I could because I thought no one out there would want to read what I wrote, also what would I write about?? There are half a bajillion sports blogs out there so I don't want to start one of those, I'm not nerdy enough to have a D&D or Comic blog (even though I think it would be a GREAT idea lol but I don't think I could handle all the wed gees) , So I'm taking the Seinfeld approach to blogging...This will be a blog about nothing =) It won't have a common theme, I will jump around from topic to topic, but I can promise you this it's going to be one helluva ride. Hopefully this will quench my typing thirst as well as leading to other opportunities.

Whenever anyone starts something new, be it a business, family, relationship, there should be a kind of mission statement that lays out what is expected from each party. The following is my "mission statement." It's short, sweet, and to the point...Kinda like the writer.

I, Chris Della Valle, being of sound mind and body declare that the aforementioned blog, Candor Corner, be a blog that uplifts, motivates, and entertains anyone who happens upon it. May it be a place that covers anything and everything that interests anyone that happens upon it. Finally may anyone who happens upon this blog find it in any way too emo or depressing, may they find Chris Della Valle and slap him in the face =)

Game On!

Chris "Can't Miss" D.